Bonus - Walmart Story.
I had to stop in Walmart tonight to pick up contacts for Mrs. Shoo and some random groceries. I don’t despise the place, but I rather stay out.
While in line, I noticed the woman in front of me was purchasing a pregnancy test. She had the test discretely hidden under one of those cheap cookbooks you find in the cashier aisle. You could tell that all she wanted to do was get out of there unnoticed.
Oh, did she pick the wrong aisle.
The cashier was one of those cashiers that has to make a comment about your groceries. Like straight out of a Seinfeld episode. She sees the test and starts a rant of a personal story telling the woman how she put the cap on wrong, spilled… - at that point I just stop listening. There was no doubt the woman in front of me was flustered. Luckily she only had two items and only had to endure two minutes of the cashier.
The cashier sends her off with good luck on whatever plus or minus sign is in her favor. She probably just jinked whatever result the woman was wishing for.
I put my groceries down, a large pack of paper towels and a gallon of milk. Her comment, “That’s an interesting combination.” This coming from the cashier of the world’s largest discount seller where you can buy cheezy poofs, motor oil, a flat screen TV, and diapers all at the same time.
This story goes nowhere, but I thought I’d share. On a side note, I’d hate to be caught by the cashier purchasing a yeast infection kit.
My fave is when I’m sick and I take a million cold/flu meds to the counter and cashier tells me I look terrible then gives me the stories of various remedies she ‘knows for a fact’ works. Thanks lady. Do I really look like I’m in the mood? People are dumb.
hahahahaha! What a hilariously ANNOYING cashier! Shoo, you should’ve told her you were planning on spilling the milk everywhere on your way out. So you needed paper towels to clean up.
Nattie, I am surprised the cashier doesn’t look at you sideways when you buy hella cold meds. I do the same thing. When I stock up on my allergy meds, I STOCK UP on allergy meds.
The cashiers always look at me like I am planning on mixing up a batch of crystal meth to sell to the neighborhood kids.
Well, Shoo … our experience with the woman who was our cashier at Walmart this weekend was the clone of an SNL skit. You know the one where Kristen Wiig is a cashier at Target?
Walmart Cashier: OMIGOD … this candle smells WOOOOONDERFUL! Do we SELL that here? Where did you FIND it?
Me: Um … in the candle isle.
Walmart Cashier: Now, I just must go get me one of those as soon as I get off work. OMIGOD … this towel is so SOFT! Do we even SELL those here? Where did you FIND it?
30?, that’s what I was trying to think of! I knew I had seen my real life experience as a comedy skit.
Wait, ‘our’? Is it possible we had the same Walmart cashier?
Next time you see her, buy these items (and only these):
Condoms
Hunting knife
Cat Fancy magazine
peanut butter (smooth)
socks
Sterno, What the heck kind of combo is that?
Jager, its Sterno’s weekly grocery list.
…daily during a good week…
…It’s the kind that would probably keep the cashier’s mouth shut.
@Shoos: Ahhh, go play in some heavy traffic, people
Would a steak knife work as well, Sterno? …in your Wally expertise…
There was a woman at the old Blockbuster Video in Freeport (northwestern corner of the state) who would, if left unchecked, blurt out the ending to every movie you were going up there to rent. At one point, I had to hold my hands up and firmly tell I hadn’t seen the movie I was renting and therefore didn’t want its finale spoiled. Then there was the time a co-worker and his wife rented “Uncle Buck” and she asked the sexually awkward question of the wife: “Is he YOUR Uncle Buck”?
Freakin’ weird.
weak substitute. maybe a toilet plunger if you have to.
Need to add bottle of whiskey to Sterno’s list.
How about rope, duck tape and a ski mask?
And a shovel, Leslie…gotta have the shovel.
Just thought of something good but too late—- when was at Lowes last night and couple of folks there commented on all the paint on my hands (do some painting today?) should have said– nope just really sloppy w/ the nail polish. Here’s your sign. LOL