gotshoo?

I was tagged by JHLB, so here it goes.

Here’s how it works. Immediately following there is a list of 22 different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with “If I could be…” Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

Once you’re done you point this meme at three people you think will be cool with putting in a good two cents on it. Don’t forget to add a profession to the end of the list with a link to your meme!

The List
If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an innkeeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a llama-rider…(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate…(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember…(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner…(By Blue944)
If I could be an actor… (By Blue944)
If I could be an agent…(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer…(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist…(By Stoli)
If I could be a go-go dancer… (By JLHB)
If I could be a villan…. (By Gotshoo.com)

If I could be a scientist, I would invent nasal spray to remove boogies. They would just melt right out. It would be come the hottest trend ever. Melting boogies.

If I could be a musician, I would be the baddest - shut yo’ mouf’ - hip hop-DIY-INDIE-rock guitar-folking singing-techno beating-one hit wonder. My number one hit would be “Lick Me Where the Sun Don’t Shine.” Grandma’s would be singing, “ohh baby, pull me down, flip me around, lick me where the sun don’t shine.” It would be about licking plants to give them nutrients. It would feature Jack Johnson and 50 Cent. I would tie the whole guitar singer - hip hop genre into one big knot.

If I could be a professor, I would be a professor of nothing. I would argue to my students what nothing was, what nothing is, and how to come to nothing. We would be hours working on math problems to figure out nothing equals null. I would setup a program at the university when you graduated you would get …. nothing. Ahh, yes, I have a degree in Nothing.

If I could be an inn keeper, I would walk around with a pimp walk around the inn. I would turn the inn into a sports bar / brothel. Hey, I am inn keeper, I can do whatever I want. Our slogan would be, “At the Inn you always got an in.” We would feast on shrimp scampi, beer, and peanuts. Why, I cause I am inn keeper! Ahh yes, the good ol’ inn.

If I could be an actor, I wouldn’t even act. Seriously, I would just marry, date, film ‘particular’ videos and release them to the media or tabloids. My income would result from dating other ‘hot’ actresses that make more money than me. I will be so far out of status quo that I will be the hottest thing around…. wait, this sounds like someone else??

I am officially by the royal powers of gotshoo.com tagging K (Kyle Still Kyle) because he loves these things. Next I tap Merf on the head because I am tired of all his Cub comments (he needs something else to do), and finally I am tagging SternO - cause’ dude hit me.